"Am I working in a manner, that does not lend itself to examination from normal criteria? For instance, does the energy I expend to get a show together, enough to last for a certain period? Right now, I feel like I am in a transitional period. I don't feel like taking the dance class, mainly because I don't want to stay here in any form. I don't feel like I have anything to do that might mean anything to me. I feel like I should rest. I feel like I didn't do enough, could do more for the show. I still don't have the input I need. But is it something I can get? Is it possible to have?
"I feel like I'm doing all this dialogue with myself and just perpetuating a myth. A myth about myself. My work. Not really getting anywhere. But that is the story of where I am right now. I feel like I am not functional.
"Why feel so depressed when there is not really anything to worry about. New work always comes. I never have a period when nothing comes in. Things are not necessarily always coming out, but I guess that is to be expected. But that is what I am questioning. I want to go forever. I want to keep working at the rate that I know I can do, a rate I have proved I can do,"
